Wassup wassup wassup this Love it or Leave it is back after… an entire year of not focusing on a single written thought for more than 30 seconds. My attention span is like a new born puppy who loves sparkles and hates authority. Nonetheless, here are my Thoughts on Unicorns.
I think it’s safe to say that 2014’s theme was simply LOL Go f**k Yourself, Laina. Or for the kids: Growing Up Ain’t Easy, Part IIVXXI. Ok, I might be throwing myself a pitty party for myself because I am a moderately-privileged-white-twenty-something-female-with-a-job-and-not-Ebola-in America. But also I might be right on track by sometimes sobbing in the fetal position because life is mean and nasty at times.
I initially had a super positive post about beautiful changes and love and unicorns, but then I got hit by a truck and sent to jail. Sooooo…. I mean…. c’est la vie or something.
While this was 2 months ago, this event still rears it’s ugly head in my life every. single. day. Ask Rob how much of a psycho I am. I dare you. Jokes aside though, no I’m not mentally stable.
I was hit by a truck on my bike. I was in the hospital for 8+ hours while handcuffed to the hospital bed for an arrest warrant unbeknownst to me. I was not able to see or speak to my friends, family, and lover (and noonie) while thinking I was dying. I spent the night in jail (I AM A TAX PAYING WHITE WOMAN IN AMERICA YOU GUYS. I am not good at being in jail. I didn’t even make any friends on the inside) with 2 fractured wrists, stitches in my knees, a serious concussion, and a damaged body and soul. I have never been so horrified in my entire life. I’ve never felt so wronged and punished and mistreated.
Sometimes karma can’t be to blame for terrible events in life. Sometimes bad things happen to decent people. I’m not saying I’m a great person, but I’ve never killed anyone or robbed a bank, so I feel like I am neutral on the decent human scale. Sometimes shit sucks so incredibly much that it’s hard to even process and you feel like you are being punished for crimes you committed in a past life when you were a satan cat or moth (scary).
Positivity is really effing hard in shitty situations. Everyone knows this but no one prepares you for these kind of situations. Obviously. Because isn’t that what life is about? Experiencing the lows so you can appreciate the highs/Being thrown in jail so you can embrace your “freedom”/Having your heart smashed on the ground like a finished cigarette butt so you can love wholeheartedly with another/Living through the worst so that you can know the best? That’s what it’s about. It can’t always be a waltz through the tulip field on a Sunday morning. The Sound of Music was misleading.
SO I suppose this post is about the continued search for rock bottom as well as the journey to a better existence and experience. It’s a lesson that even when you think shit is bad, things can get worse but then they will probably get better. It’s a commentary on the idea that up is the new down and down is the new normal. I have a great life complete with a real-life job, a non-slummy house, the cutest dingo-puppy you’ve ever seen, and a loving/incredible boyfriend/healthy relationship. Things get better no matter where you are. Either that or you die, and I mean… then the struggle is over, right?
Positivity is not far in any situation. It might take a few months or years to see it, but it’s always there. Learning and growing is the human condition on that daily grind. So if you’re going through that shit storm, keep on going bro. And also if you’re having a bad day, think about me in jail. It will make you feel better, I promise.