Life Lessons that will Embarrass my Future Children.

HA!  You thought I forgot about this blog, eh?! I actually did.  For a long time.  Life is happening at a rapid pace, and revisiting this blog is like seeing an ex-boyfriend again for the first time since you had passionate hate-sex. It’s both glorious and horrifying.

So many things have happened in the past few months, it would take a novel to describe in detail the beautiful disaster that is my life.  So naturally, I’ve devised a general list of life lessons that have hit me smack in the mouth since February…. And the title of this post is misleading.  My future children will be syked their mom was so intelligent and insightful at such a ripe age. Enjoy betches.

1.  Everyone has a light and shadow.

The ying-yang is the real deal. Sometimes you come across people that you definitely consider to be satan’s spawn.  They are dark, negative, rude, and down-right soul sucks.  Then you see a little sign of light and beauty and realize they cannot possibly be the dark lord’s child.  The reverse is also true.  You can be the most optimistic, love-filled, kind and gentle person who enjoys coddling kittens and saving handicapped hedgehogs by day but is an axe murder by night.  This is obviously an extreme case, but you get what I mean.  Every single person has a dark and a light side to them.  One cannot exist without the other.  I am a prime example of  this not-so-new phenomenon. When I teach my yoga classes I am somewhat serious and knowledgeable, and seemingly on my path to living a pure and enlightened life.  Outside of the yoga studio, I am often outlandishly outspoken and can usually be found wine binging and smoking shameful cigarettes in a dark corner of a dive bar.  Am I necessarily one persona or the other?  Not really.  I like to think of myself as a balance between both worlds.  Moral of the story-  you cannot completely categorize someone by their most outward expression.  Consider the yin and yang.

2.  Juice cleanses should/should not conclude with wine binges.

I know this is a shocking statement.  I know you, like me, thought that fermented grapes are considered fruit and thus wine is fruit juice.  Unfortunately, this is a recipe for disaster and havoc on both your body and moral compass.  I’ve decided to undergo a number of juice-only detox cleanses since the beginning of the year.  They are great for cleaning out all of the digestive junk and allow for a little inward exploration.  If done correctly.  I’ve never been one to follow rules, though. My revolt against the proper juice cleanse was to consume copious amounts of wine the moment directly following the detox.  My entire life is a vicious cycle of detox and re-tox.  I’m too young and reckless to give a single f*ck. Long story short, I end up making highly questionable choices while wildly hammered and spend the next week feeling like death warmed over.  Worth it?  Questionable.  Does it make for a good story/good excuse to behave like a newly de-flowered teenage girl?  Absolutely.  I would highly recommend this life choice. Maybe I should become a nutrition counselor?  SYKE. We all know how that would turn out.

3.  Life is the most fun when you are the most reckless.

I know I’ve said this time and time again, but it is the MOST true thing I know.  You always have a better time/experience when you let go of your resistance and just give in.  It is the most freeing feeling to no longer care what you look like or what others think of you.  Here is the deal:  you will probably not see most people you are around again in your life, nor will your real-life friends not be your friend anymore because you got reckless.  Everyone loves a slow moving train wreck, especially if it’s done right.  If you have  a flight at 6 am the next morning and are weighing your options of getting a good nights rest for a fresh day of travel or raging face until the sun rises and being miserable the next 48 hours, ALWAYS choose the latter.  You will never remember the nights you got adequate sleep.  Ever.  I know this from one full year of being a hermit.  Trust me.  Get reckless.

When “reckless” is Googled.

4.  Exhale only love and have compassion for all people at all times.

I am balls deep into Rumi (not literally, of course). And this is deep, but oh so true. The recent violent events have, as always, allowed me/all people to take a step back and realize how short life is.  It is too short to spend your time being hateful and rude.  It is too short to not have compassion for EVERY single human being you come across.  It’s too short to not tell the people you hold close to your heart that you love them.  You lose nothing by having compassion and love for everyone.  One act of kindness and compassion can usually motivate another act of love, and thus a little chain reaction is created.  Naturally, the incidents in Aurora have sparked a lot of thinking on why someone would be so heartlessly violent.  People (usually) don’t become hateful and violent without reason.  There is (usually) a past event that took away the faith in humanity and goodness, and thus violence ensues.  If you stop and take the time to be kind and breathe out compassion, you could just brighten someone’s day enough for them to no commit a hate act.  Far reaching? maybe.  Plausible?  Totally.  Try it.

5.  Parents are allowed to not be parents sometimes.

We are getting to the age where our parents have been *semi* responsible and organized role-models for over 20 years.  That is entirely too long to act this over cautious part.  I came to this realization after hearing myself parent my parents the other night. Whaaaat?  I know.  It’s time that we accept our parents desire to be free of the burden of raising children and start letting them do whatever they want, without judgement.  We are old enough to make grown-up decisions in the grown-up world.  We are no longer their responsibility, and they are not yours.  At this point, it is possible to simultaneously exist as human beings Your dad wants to relive his mullet days and wear jorts?  Great!  Your mom is getting super into lower back tattoos and wants to habitually consume LSD?  Stupendous.  Let em’ do it.  They deserve to have a full blown (moderate) binge on whatever they desire after raising tiny devil-children for so long. Stop judging and start enjoying this time with your roommates. Err. Parents.

6.  Just because he/she is foreign and has an incredibly intriguing accent does not mean he/she is attractive.

What?  You already knew this?  I’ve clearly had my blinders-of-exoticism on full time as of late.  I literally can hear an attractive accent from 1.4 miles away and track it down like a drug dog.  It’s like a 7th sense (I was born with 6).  So naturally when I travel internationally, I fall in love like 1840932 a day with people of all ethnicities and origins.  And naturally, this gets me in trouble. Maybe it was my partial sobriety or sign that I am growing up (slowly)… but it dawned on me that some incredible sexy accent men are not in fact sexy at all.  Some are rude, boring, shallow, and condescending.  People are people, not matter where you are or where you are from.  So if you are like me, and are blinded by a double kiss on the cheek and the pronunciation of “February”, take a step back before you dive into that mess.  Realize that there are A-holes are everywhere in the world.  You just have to weed through the a-holes to get to the good stuff. Gross (imagery).  Additionally, if you think everyone you meet is an a-hole, you are probably the a-hole.  Think about it.  I just used “a-hole” so many times in 3 seconds. woohoo?


7.  I am in a full on hearth-throbbing, gut-wrenching, love affair with yoga and all things of the like.

It’s almost nauseating how much I love everything surrounding yoga.  It is like a spiritual orgasm everytime I step on to my mat or attend an inspiring workshop or teach a class or even think about yoga.  It’s dangerous.  I am like a giddy little school girl with a crush on my math teacher on the first day of school.  It’s stupidly amazing. I recently volunteered at the Wanderlust yoga festival in Copper where I practiced and mingled with some of the most renowned teachers on this side of the world.  I shimmied with Shive Rae while dancing to “Teach me how to Dougie”…. Long story…. But whatever, I did it and it was magical. I literally feel like a unicorn after that incident. Anyways, I have never been so inspired to learn everything there is to know about the practice and theory.  EVERYTHING.  I am one click away from submitting my application to an ashram so I can forget real life and fully engulf myself in yoga.  I’ll seriously do it, too.  This is heady business.  Now that I’ve found my passion/obsession in the world, I wish something similar upon every single person.  You have to find something to be fully head-over-heels passionately in love with in order to give your life meaning.  It doesn’t matter what it is (besides murdering, killing kittens/other cute animals, and heroin), as long as you have something in your life that makes you excited to wake up in the morning.  Don’t have one yet?  No worries.  It will hit you smack in the head when the time is right.  Until then, go out and do everything you can get your grimy little hands on.  It’s worth it.

8.  Everyone has the ability to live life more simply

When we are in the swing of our busy Western lives, we think we cannot survive without our “things”.  Cars, iphones, eye cream, teeth whitening, 90 pairs of shoes, 45 tops that look the same, 7 unique looking kittens, 17 different kinds of bottled kombucha, etc. are seen as normal and necessary.  Once you step out of this lifestyle, even for a day, you realize how unnecessary most things are in life.  You don’t need 6 pairs of the same skanky black undies to live a fulfilled life.  Bottled water from the depths of the Arctic ocean is not vital to your survival.  After my tiny Costa Rican adventure, I vowed to live a more simple life.  It is eye opening to see people completely happy and content with so little.  Each day I am trying to eliminate one thing that I truly do not need.  It is freeing to lighten up your possessions, it gives you more space to grow as a person.  So try it.  See if you can go a few days without using your car.  Don’t purchase anything for a week.  Get rid of everything you do not wear/use, and donate it.  Turn all of your electronics off for at least 24 hours.  See how you feel after this, and then keep going!

9.  When life is going in the right direction, everything falls into place.

I was talking to a wonderful yoga teacher in Costa Rica about the process of moving and starting a life there.  “When people are supposed to be here, opportunities come out of nowhere everything around them falls into place”, she said.  I can’t get this idea out of my mind now.  When you make a decision and begin a journey in a certain direction, there are blatant signs that either point you toward your general goal or violently away from it.  All you have to do is be receptive to the signs, and you will have a pretty good idea if you are heading the right way.  When I came back from my time in Prague, I forced myself to go back to school, even though my gut instinct was telling me to find a new plan.  During this, I became super sick, lost important people in my life, and was generally miserable.  The universe was trying to tell me to open up my eyes and mind to something new.  When I finally listened, I took time off of school and yoga fell into my lap and the rest is seemingly history.  In my desire to find adventure around the world, Costa Rica presented itself and things are beginning to fall into place in support of that journey.  Signs present themselves each and every day to let us know if we are heading the right direction or not.  All you have to do is be open to them and LISTEN.

10.  Not having a short/long-term plan is both exciting and horrifying.

Everyone’s favorite question after graduation is the inevitable “what’s your plan for the future?”.  I took great joy in making up elaborate stories and lies of meeting a Middle-Eastern husband and joining the army in Saudi Arabia or becoming one with the dolphins and living mostly underwater.  Either that, or I would simply reply with, “your guess is as good as mine….” (which aroused looks both confusion and dissatisfaction).  Here’s the issue (s):  (1) I have no idea what I want to do/where I want to be.  (2) I’m not getting a big girl job that requires me to work with “lifers” and become creative with office supplies. (3) I’m not super into making money or climbing the corporate ladder. So, no, I do not have a solid future plan.  My only real ambition at this point is to go out and explore the world and meet everyone I can and do all that I can do. Thus, I am moving to Costa Rica in November in active pursuit of the unknown.  I will teach yoga, teach English, and teach myself how to slow down and live life.  I suppose this is a short-term adventure that will hopefully lead to a lifelong journey.  So, HA!  Take that all people who judged me for not having a life plan.  Put my little reckless and messy ambition in to your little pipe and take a little smoke.

Take away points from the beautiful disaster that is my life:  stop judging, preserving, conserving, and consuming.  Start enjoying, pursuing, trying, and adventuring. Everything will fall in to place if you let it.  So let it in, and let go.  Enjoy the ride and get reckless. Always.



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